A Blonde's Year in Review

Email forward from Emily. Note: This is a JOKE! Not meaning to offend anyone okay?!

January 

Took new scarf back to  store because it was too tight.
 
February   
 
Fired from pharmacy job  for failing to print labels....

Helllloooo!!!.......bottles  won't fit in printer !!! 

March   
 
Got really  excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.... box said '2-4  years!'

April
 
Trapped on escalator for  hours .... power went out!!!
 
May   
 
Tried to make  Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of

water won't fit into  those little packets!!! 

June
 
Tried to go water  skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
 
July   
 
Lost breast stroke  swimming competition.....learned later,
 
the other swimmers  cheated, they used their arms!!!
 
August   
 
Got locked out of my car  in rain storm.....

car swamped because  soft-top was open.
 
September   
 
The capital of California  is 'C'.....isn't it???

October
 
Hate M &  M's....they are so hard to peel.
 
November  
 
Baked turkey for 4 1/2  days .. instructions said 1 hour 

per pound and I weigh  108!!
 
December  
 
Couldn't call 911 .....  'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' 
Button on the stupid  phone!!! 
 

THE  BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR 
 
A  man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde  female neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the  mailbox.

She  opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the  house.
 
A  little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box  and again,  opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into  the house she went.
 
As  the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out  again,  marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it  closed harder than ever.
 
Puzzled  by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?' 

To  which she replied, 'There certainly is!' 

(Are  you ready? This is a beauty...)

My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'